Mom Monday-Are you trying for a boy?

27 Nov

I expected this comment as soon as we announced our fourth pregnancy. It was a comment we’d gotten after our third daughter was born. That time, it came from a complete stranger, who asked me, “Did you get your boy?” She left me wondering how on earth she knew me and why she’d think I wanted a boy—until I realized she’d seen my two little girls and the infant car seat and made her own assumptions.  

 Trying for a boy at Helicopter Mom and Just Plane Dad

And so, even as I thought about getting pregnant again, I knew that comment would come. Of course anyone who has three girls wants to “even out” their family and have a boy, right? Of course Daddy would like to have a little boy to follow in his footsteps. Of course both Grandpas (who currently only have granddaughters) would like a grandson to carry on the family name.


Of course.


I’ve never thought, with any of my pregnancies, “It would be nice to have [insert gender].” I’ve never had a strong feeling about what gender the baby would be. And we’ve never found out, before the baby’s birth, whether we’re having a boy or a girl. In fact, I’ve seen a T-shirt that I’d love to get that says, “It’s a boy… or a girl.”


From the time I was a little girl, I wanted a large family. Many of my friends came from large families and they were all big, happy families. There were big siblings to take care of us and little siblings to pamper (or boss around) and always lots of kids to play with. I wanted that. I loved babysitting in my teens and dreaming about someday raising my own kids.


However, I also realized that a big family is looked askance at in our world today. And so I didn’t mention that dream very much. One of the things on my list for “what I want in a husband” was “must love kids.” I knew it could be hard to find a man who was open to a big family, and I feel so blessed that my husband is. In fact, at our marriage prep course, we joked that we couldn’t agree on how many kids we wanted. I suggested a dozen and he said “a rugby side is fifteen.”


So we’re on number four right now. We’re not trying for a boy or a girl. We’re just having another baby.


Would it be fun to have a boy? Sure. We’ve got lots of great boys’ names picked out. We’ve even got a selection of blue baby stuff, chosen way back before our first daughter was born, when we got a little bit of everything because we didn’t know whether we were having a boy or a girl.


Would it be fun to have a girl? Sure. We’ve got tons of girl clothes and toys. We could just keep passing them all down the line and not have to go shopping. We know how to do girls. My husband hasn’t yet started braiding hair or painting nails (as I’ve seen other dads do!), but he is getting used to glitter and frills and pink everything. (Even if he still tries to buy the girls “gender neutral” rugby shirts.)


And so Baby Way is coming in November 2015 and we can’t wait to find out… boy or girl? 

Because either answer is equally fun.  Are you trying for a boy?  Tell us in the comments below. 


Bonnie Way is a SAHM with three daughters and another baby on the way. She has a BA in English (2006) and a BA in Writing (2014) and blogs as The Koala Mom. When she’s not Bonnie Way The Koala Momblogging or homeschooling her oldest daughters, she can be found baking, reading, or scrapbooking. Keep in touch by following her on Facebook, Pinterest, Google+ or Twitter!

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