How NOT to plan a Sweet 16 birthday party

16 Jul

Do you remember your Sweet 16 birthday party?  Honestly, I don’t and in my defense it’s probably because it wasn’t a national event televised over FaceBook nor did it mirror anything vaguely like those shown on MTV.  I’m sure it included friends, cake and roller skating…ahh, the good ole days.  Beloved is thrilled to be reaching this milestone in her life.

How to plan a Sweet 16 birthday party.

While Just Plane Dad and I wish she was as intact as the poem reads “sweet 16…never been kissed” we realize that dream is over.  World’s Best Boyfriend made sure she wasn’t one of those sad little teenage girls that had their big party without ever being kissed.  [my attempt at sarcasm].  Anyway, while our daughter absolutely loves her parties, she falters badly with the preparation for it.

Here’s our annual pre-birthday conversation; I know you’ll feel my pain.


Helicopter Mom: Hey it’s only 6 months until your big day, start thinking of ideas for your party.



Helicopter Mom: Hey we really need to decide what you want to do for your Sweet 16 party.



Helicopter Mom: Look at this catalog of birthday decorations we got in the mail.

Kid: I don’t like these; I want to check out the store’s selection.



Helicopter Mom: Ok let’s head out and decide.  Luau theme seems perfect.  Do you want these streamers?

Kid:  NO

Helicopter Mom: Do you want these lei’s?

Kid: NO

Helicopter Mom: Do you want tiki torches?

Kid: NO

Helicopter Mom: So just plates and cups then?


June 1st:

Helicopter Mom: We need a list of places that you’d like to have your party at.  Ice skating rink, Busch Gardens, dance hall?

Kid: NO, the pool.

Helicopter Mom: Pool? Great!


June 4th:

Helicopter Mom: Family would like a list of presents you’d like to have for your birthday.


June 10th:

Helicopter Mom: We really need to finalize the invite list.

Kid: I can’t invite everyone because so and so doesn’t get along.

Helicopter Mom: Listen, if they are your friends, they are coming for you and they will get along for a few hours.

Kid: Let me think about it.


June 17th:

Helicopter Mom: If I’m going to have time to order your cake, we need to decide which one. That one?  It’s not available at any stores yet.  I’ll have to check with local bakeries.  You want me to make it, I’ve never used fondant.  I’ll have to get back with you on that one.


June 19th:

Helicopter Mom: We still need a list of presents that you want.

Kid: Probably just gift cards.


June 24th:

Helicopter Mom: We need to decide what food you want to have at your party.  Just pizza?  Thank God.  You are the best child in the world.


July 1st:

Helicopter Mom: We need to make sure we can have the party at the family pool.  Please call Grandma and find out.


July 2nd:

Helicopter Mom: We STILL STILL STILL need a list of presents you’d like to get for your birthday.  We don’t have time to order online now so pick things locally.


July 7th:

Helicopter Mom: Did you talk to Grandma?

Kid: I forgot to call but I will.

Helicopter Mom: Ok she needs to plan too so don’t forget to call and let her know.


July 11th:

Helicopter Mom: How hard can this cake be to make? [four hours later]  What was I thinking?


Morning of party:

Kid: Hey Grandma, I forgot to call but is it ok if I bring fifteen kids over to swim today?


After the party:

Kid: This was the best party ever!

Helicopter Mom & Just Plane Dad:  We are so glad you liked it; can we start thinking about next year?

Happy Sweet 16 Birthday Beloved.

Hovering high and low, Helicopter Mom and Just Plane Dad

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